Ad critique - Forex signal provider

Trading foreign exchange is one of the business that I'm interested in.

This morning, after I fired up my web browser, this banner ad, caught my attention...

The word "Verified" had a nice ring to it. I decided to click on the ad to see what it's all about. This is what the landing page looks like...

The header (that top part of the web page), it was a turn off. That part unconsciously set an alert in my head. My eyes then went towards the headline, "Catch 300+ pips per day with *company name, the world's #1 rated signals engine"

That's where I stopped reading. 

Whatever the advertiser got going for them, they've lost it. Why?

The benefit they were offering was good, making 300 pips per day. It's plausible. What failed them was the next statement, "the world's #1..."

It's an unsupported claim. Even if it were true, I wouldn't use that in my headlines. I'd rather give the facts, then let the reader decide if we were the best or not.

I never bothered looking around to look for proof that they were number one. Their company name was new to me. How can they be #1 when they are noobs in the market?

Imagine this ad were a real person and was selling door to door. They knock on your door, and the hook they use on you is, "catch 300 pips, we are the best in the market." How did that feel?

It tastes flat, doesn't it?

Here's how I might do the ad.

First, I'd get rid of the header. The reader doesn't care about recommending this product with their social network. They will do that AFTER they have long been a happy customer, not before they sign up for anything.

I'd change the headline and get rid of that "world's #1" claim. I would probably use a headline that will appeal to the reader's interest. Or maybe highlight something that is news worthy about the product/service.

I will then go on explain how it is easily possible to make 300 pips from the forex market--how the thing works. 

Etc, etc, etc.

Incidentally, I did scroll down. I wanted to find out what the sales process is about the ad. Sure enough, there were some good points in the copy they could have used as headline. Here's one...

"Each Signal comes with an FX Chart to back the signal! You will see charts showing why the system has predicted a particular move, explain why prices are what they are..."

It's not exactly the headline word for word, but the idea is there.


A few minutes after I posted this blog update, I went to my facebook page to find out what's happening in the world. Etoro is one of the facebook pages about forex trading that I follow. This was on my news feed today...

It's not exactly a signal provider, like the one above. It's more like, "this is how one of our customer-traders are trading, and how those that follow their trades are making money."

So I click on the link to satisfy my curiosity... and got this...

The copy is made to look like a blog update--it is a blog after all. This "blog update" offers facts and information I might be interested in. Claims are made here and there, but it's more toned down. The message comes across as, "this is what's happening... in case you want to know more about it, there's links on the sidebar."

Which of these two do you think is more effective?

Enjoy your weekend!