How To Get Your Prospect To Almost Always Read Your Email

I found this on my inbox today. I remember finding their ad on facebook, and curious as a copywriter would be, followed the ad. I must have signed up for their free service and gave them my email--I should have used trashmail instead.

Anyway, I am sharing their email here to point out how these spammers could have done better. Take a look at what they sent me...

Hello Jim,

Your name was referred to us by Nimble as we are a reseller of Nimble in NZ, you will find us at xactsoftwareDOTcom.

We has been in the CRM business since 2000, providing software and services to small to medium business. We have recently taken up Nimble as we were so impressed with the simplicity yet attention to detail that Nimble brings to social CRM.

Any questions you have on Nimble Social CRM or CRM in general, please make contact and perhaps book a demonstration via GoToMeeting with us.

Kind Regards,

Danielle Hermez
Marketing Manager
Xact Software Solution

Should I Spend More On Getting Traffic or Conversion?

I found this question on LinkedIn Answers and decided to write about it...
"Is Conversion Rate Optimization Cheaper Than Traffic?"

Let's say run a car dealership...

used car lot metaphor

Connect With Your Audience - Talk To Them As You Would Face To Face

Hi Jim,

TheLocalLocksmiths essentially are building a nationwide locksmith database and providing the locksmith with sms texts when a customer finds the site (TheLocalLocksmiths) and calls into to our call centre. If you visit the site, you will see the list of benefits.

For the local locksmiths, we want our prospect to join our Brand New SMS Text


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Control Your Reader's Behavoir - Here's How

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Anticipate how they will react
Action - reaction. In your website copy and layout, get your audience to react in the way that you want them to. What questions are running through their mind? Will they do this or that?

Just like in real world, face to face selling, the sales person has to be in control of the interaction.

The image on the landing page will surely catch your attention, doesn't it? Other than that, the page doesn't motivate you to stay and look around.

Use captions within or under the image. An image of a beautiful woman who is smiling at you is guaranteed to grab your audience's attention. While you have their attention, talk about what it is they are looking for. Get them to do something.

Email Marketing Copy Rewrite

copywriting critique

This was the copy that had to be improved--

Dear manager,

Are you aware that over 65% of Americans own a smartphone and 90% of them use it to search for attractive deals including Restaurant Deals and Special offers? Are your deals found in people smartphones? If not then you are losing one of the major growing markets and it’s time to catch up.

More Fluffywriting

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The image above is a screenshot I took of the site. Here are the exact words used...

The latest digital boom has made everything extra easy and we can see the world change through social media networks. We no longer find the need to use the regular phone lines for booking a taxi because you can do that on your iPhone. In fact, with the new smart phones and tablets, you can play any game, learn any language or skill as well as get your daily fix of the news. Videos as well are watched from the net and have almost made the DVD obsolete.

This is well and good for those who have businesses online but bad for physical or local retail stores. It’s because a lot of them are finding it more difficult to close a sale since people are finding it easy to get everything online.

It is therefore natural for those eager to run a business in the future to start heeding these signs. Opening a physical store that sells stuff that people can easily access or get online is not a good idea since there is a high chance that your business will not grow and be sustainable. It is time that everybody starts getting used to the idea that traditional forms of marketing and print media are already a receding custom.

Trendstreamdotnet covered around 26 countries, 90,000 surveys and 3 waves of research and as GlobalWebIndex reports; there are three clear trends in terms of people incorporating internet in their lifestyle. All of them are driving social entertainment via the internet platforms to construct a new age. The report covers their analysis about the existing global situation and the long-term opportunities for professional media, brands and its content producers.

The 3 Major Trends

The first trend...

Imagine... 4 paragraphs and 282 words of pure, unrelated fluffywriting before the writer started talking about his topic.

When writing, you do not EVER need a long introduction--whether articles for your blog, and more importantly, for sales copy. It will only bore your readers, making it easy for them to click the BACK button.

In the first five seconds that you have their attention, give them the best you've got--
3 Social Media Trends...
1. Trend 1... blah, blah, blah
2. Trend 2... blah, blah, blah
3. Trend 3... blah, blah, blah

Remember, your reader will decide within five seconds if they are going to stick around or not. Tell them upfront what it is you want them to know. It's what they came for. Your most important message should go first.

If you want them to keep coming back, reward them with instant gratification.

Be authentic. Don't be afraid to voice out your opinion. If your blog reads like everyone else's, why should they bother reading yours? Google Analytics Data To-date

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The stats from the image above shows Analytics from January 20 to Feb 19. The stats from the image below show Analytics since got started...

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What Can I Do To Decrease My Site's Bounce Rate?

Hi Jim,

What actions can I take to decrease my website's bounce rate? I have been reading and learning a lot about A/B testing and I get the process. But there are a few concerns which make it challenging.

  • You need a lot of visitors to get statistical significance.
  • You can only test one change at a time so that you isolate it.
  • You have to have some degree of knowledge to know what to change and how to engage users.

In my case, I have a template that I use and I want to do these tests BEFORE many people come to the site so that they don't all just leave. So I am not sure what might be the best path to proceed.

Any advice on what I should do? Right now I just want to get people to participate in the site more after they find it. Thanks!


It's Your Business - Why Not Go For The Best That You Can Afford?

you get what you pay for

Get Your Way With Advertising - Always

"Almost everyone in the world, in every field of human endeavor, is desperately searching for someone to believe in. Be that person and you can write your own ticket."

- Gary Bencivenga

Marketing - Does It Have To Be This Complicated?

"Hi Jim,
I am providing marketing services for a local client who is a process efficiency and management expert for small to mid-sized manufacturing firms who bring in 10 Million + in annual sales revenue.

I am looking for someone to develop an overall strategic marketing and business development plan that is broken down into a series of on-going actionable steps over an eighteen month period. While this will obviously contain traditional marketing information and structure, I'm looking for a play-by-play game plan that I can execute with local staff, freelancers and Odesk team members.

marketing strategy made easy

Is This Good Copywriting, Or Fluffywriting?

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This is an example of "sub-par" copywriting. The headline sounds like something you'd expect from a marketer. The website copy is all fluff--plenty of claims with very little proof to support them.

When writing copy, put in twice as many proof elements for every one claim that you make. If you can't come up with anything to support your claim--remove it.

Which Is More Important - Lower Ad Cost Or Better Conversion?

Hi there,

I am running an Adwords campaign for my music school and I have tried to improve my Quality Score and reduce my average cost per click by having a dynamic landing page built specifically for this campaign.

We seem to have everything working and feeding the keyword through from the ad to the landing page (meta tags, page title, content etc) but for some reason it has made no difference whatsoever to our average QS or cost to first page bid.

I'm looking for a genuine expert who can look at our landing page, log into our adwords acount and point out exactly what we are doing wrong.

All the correct information is feeding through for each keyword, so I'm not after someone who can just set these up - I want someone who understands how to look at our campaign and landing page, then diagnose why our QS and costs have not changed when compared to our static landing page.

Here is our landing page:

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Critique for Hypnosis Website

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Observations, plus a few suggestions
First, it's hard to comprehend what the URL Why not try Or try (name-of-doctor), or (benefit)

The title of the blog is taking up too much space. People do not care what the title of your website is. All they care about are themselves and what they stand to gain.

This is why your website is not engaging

I am subscribed to Anna Hoffman's Traffic Generation Cafe. It was a blog recommended by a colleague of mine a few months back. He said it had good page rank with the search engines and that it would be a good idea to comment and get a link back to your site.

Allow me to share with you first, as to what "engaging" means for me.

When you read a good book, you do not write comments, or talk about what you are reading. You simply read, and you are lost to everything else in the world. You isolate yourself from the world in order to concentrate on what you are reading.

In the true sense of the word, that book is "engaging". Ms Hoffman's website is not.

Website critique
A few posts back, she asked a conversion expert to critique her site. The conversion expert made a few recommendations, and according to Miss Hoffman, she has made improvements on her site.

I am writing this critique, not to make fun of Ms Hoffman's work, but to offer suggestions on how she can improve her site.

Ms Hoffman must have done something good back when she was getting started to have such a big following. When I first saw her blog, I was not that impressed. I know a number of low page rank blogs that has more meat on it.

Let's take a look as to why I think the site is distracting itself from its readers.

above the fold
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What To Do So That Your Audience Will Listen

advertising for facebook fan page
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This ad doesn't really offer much benefit to the reader. I went to their Facebook fan page, and then their website looking for that tag-line that offers a benefit the reader will buy. The best that they can come up with was--

We are building technology that addresses Social Advertising needs by amplifying Social Advertiser capabilities.

Facebook Ad Critique - If Yours Is Not A Popular Brand

facebook ad critique

Headline: "Thanks From Icebreaker"

Uhm... Why do you thank me, and who in the world is "Icebreaker"? The image in the ad doesn't even tell me who Icebreaker is.

The advertiser is assuming that everyone is familiar with the brand. Frankly, I have never heard of this brand, and why should I care? I don't even know what this brand is about.

Getting Attention Is Not Enough--Here's Why

If you hate veggies like I do and saw this video, did you find yourself wanting to eat vegetables on your next meal?

What is missing from this ad--how can you make it better?

How I Got Started In Copywriting

under construction.

This screenshot was taken from the last and only seminar Gary Bencivenga gave in his copywriting career. Click on image to enlarge.

Teacher and role model
In martial arts, it is tradition to mention your lineage--who your were, your teachers and everyone else that helped shaped the person that you are today.

StumbleUpon As A Marketing Tool (Infographic)

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StumbleUpon is one of the better tools out there to get eyeballs to your website. It was not meant to convert traffic into customers. That's YOUR JOB.

How To Create Advertising That Sells - David Ogilvy

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How to Create Advertising that Sells

By David Ogilvy

Ogilvy & Mather has created over $1,480,000,000 worth of advertising. Here, with all the dogmatism of brevity are 38 of the things we have learned.

Recommendations For Internet Marketing Website

Good day Jim

I live in South Africa and the internet is only becoming readily available to people now and especially businesses. But very few businesses are using it as a form of advertising and a means of telling people about them and what they do using SEO, social media, articles etc.

I am starting a business that will offer them a service that will do just that. I have a website and I created a basic landing page that was more for SEO purposes but I don't think that is will be effective enough at drawing customers in. So that's why I need you.

I'm gona move my present page somewhere else and the replace it with a more catchy page that will really draw the customers in. So I have 2 options: Either I'll create a buy now button that will allow them to pay on the spot for a set of packages or I'll have a form where they can fill in their details and then I'll get back to them.

Have a good day further

seo website critique

Disclosure Policy

This policy is valid from 31 January 2012

This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. For questions about this blog, please contact Jim Syyap (jimsyyap at gmail Dot com).

This blog does not accept any form of advertising, sponsorship, or paid insertions. I write for my own purpose. However, I may be influenced by my background, occupation, religion, political affiliation or experience.

The owner(s) of this blog will never receive compensation in any way from this blog.

The owner(s) of this blog is not compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog owners. If I claim or appear to be experts on a certain topic or product or service area, I will only endorse products or services that I believe, based on my experience, are worthy of such endorsement. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider.

This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest.

Disappointed With Social Media Marketing?

social media marketing fail

I am starting to see a trend that I think you might want to know.

I have been talking to a number of small business owners these past few months. The one question that I always ask them is this--"How does social media marketing work for you?"

Their answer?

"It doesn't."

Failing to convert
From the feedback that I got from them, engaging in social media does not necessarily equate to more leads.

According to them, social media marketing is like the ads you see on TV and newspapers, only cheaper. Just because you see them everyday doesn't mean people are going to buy.

People "Like" a brand to get Freebies and discounts, but ignore the marketers' status updates the way they ignore ads on TV. The only difference, small business owners say, is that the audience can make comments on these ads.

Interactive spam
It seems to me that advertisements has evolved--it is now interactive. The message is still considered as noise and an unwanted intrusion into the audience's attention.

What is different this time is that social media marketing costs less, and that the audience can comment on the marketer's status updates.

Naturally, my next question was, "To get more leads for your business, what works?"

Online ads--Facebook ads and Google Adwords.


When a person is ready to make a decision, they look for answers. They ask their social network. If they can't find feedback there, they use google and look for reliable product reviews.

If the brand is available on, they go there and look up feedback left by people who bought them.

As they go about looking for answers, they find advertising. If the ad seems to offer the solution that they are looking for, they click on it.

What is your opinion on this?