These are the two sites that need help in sales copy as well as SEO. I've also created a 5 day fallow up email campaign for both sites that is not converting. Traffic for these sites is low so rather hard to tell if it's the copy or the poor traffic.
I visited your blog and you are offering to take a gander and give your opinion. As you know lots of response and lots of promises too my ad. I like what I've read and will be making a decision soon.
Your web copy looks sound enough. The headline, "Abdominal Fat Loss Diet" effectively flags prospects who are looking for such a solution. The copy then gets the reader engaged in the copy. I find the same with the "Conceive a baby" copy below.
How is the free ebook offer pulling for you? The copy looks effective enough that even I will sign up for the free ebook. I haven't read the copy for the follow up email, but I am assuming that you will find your leaks in those email.
How to gain reader's trust
You see, if people sign up for the free ebook, they want free information. They will give you their email to get that free information. But soon as you ask for money when you email them, your email gets filtered as spam and will go straight to trash.
Offering FREE e-books, this doesn't pull anymore. Everyone else is doing it. Take a look at the more successful Internet Marketers and you will see that they do not offer free e-books.
If you intend to ask for money later, then tell them up front. "This program will help you lose weight for only $xxx...Guaranteed." You then justify why your brand is the answer to their problem.
Your website comes across as an infomercial. It's there to sell and activates your reader's BS radar. Almost everything you say in this ad is going to be taken with a pinch of salt.
Others like me
If I were looking for a solution to my weight problem (or how to conceive a baby), I will be drawn to websites that will tell me how others were able to do it. You might want to start a blog, where the author is a person who is in the same boat as your prospects--let's call her Jane Doe.
In this blog, Jane writes about her thoughts, feelings, and experience starting as an overweight person. Jane writes how she struggles with this issue, which leads her to make the decision to lose weight. She tries everything, and eventually finds one that "seems" to work for her.
In the process, Jane invites people into the conversation. She encourages them to comment and share their own experience as well. If the blog is engaging enough, readers will want to share this information with their own social network.
This is one of the ways to build credibility for your brand.
When you have such a blog, it will be easy to mention (in a subtle way) how this brand is able to help solve her weight problem. That's how people will find your infomercial website. By then their BS radar is down and they are then open to your suggestions.
Instead of running online ads for your infomercial website, advertise these blogs instead.